When I was little I imagined my life to be everyone’s idea of perfect. I thought I would go all the way through school to 6th year, then go on to study something incredible in university, get my degree, go straight into a high paying job, get married to my perfect man, buy my dream home and have 2 babies, a boy and a girl, and get a dog and live happily ever after.
My life couldn’t be more different.
I never finished high school, I left after my 5th year, 4 highers to my name, dropped out of college the year after due to issues with my mental health, I am no longer in education.
Here I am, 18, a single mother of a 4 month old baby girl, struggling with what little resources I have to make this work. Facing constant judgment from people of all ages for being a teen mum, as if the fact that I’m still a teenager can say anything about my parenting skills and my ability to bring up my daughter the best way possible.
I’m not in university studying to be the worlds greatest lawyer, I’m not in that dream relationship with the picture perfect guy, but I love my life how it is. I couldn’t imagine it to be any better.
I have the most amazingly beautiful little girl in the entire world, I get to experience being a mum, which I must add is the greatest experience ever. I get to cuddle my adorable little sweetheart to sleep every night, and to wake up to her smiles as she shows her excitement to see me in the morning. There is nothing more amazing than walking into the room and seeing her little face light up just cause she saw her mummy, there’s nothing more amazing than knowing that I am her entire world, I lights up her entire world and hoping that she grows up thinking ‘I want to be just like my mummy’
I know having a baby young is seen to be undesirable. I also know that being a single parent at any stage in your life is also seen to be the worst case scenario for the majority of people. I, however, wouldn’t have it any other way. It can be a struggle doing it all myself, and a lot of the time I do think about how much easier it would be to share the workload with someone. But then, I love being able to say I’ve done this all myself, I am going to raise my daughter myself, and I am going to make sure I do a damn good job at it.
As for being so young, I don’t see that as a bad thing. People argue that I never got to properly live my life, that I never got to experience all that I should have before having the responsibility of being a parent. People talk about it as being negative. Whereas, all I can see is positives. Yes I don’t get to go out and get so drunk I can’t remember my name or my way home every weekend, but isn’t being a parent and being responsible a much better thing to be doing? Yes I don’t get to be carefree, but is anyone ever really carefree? At the end of the day, I feel more love for my little baby than I ever have towards anyone in my entire life, and she will get to know me for years. Everybody has the potential to live up to 100, obviously various things get in the way of that for the vast majority of people, but that means so far I have only lived 18% of my life, that means that my baby will be a part of it for 82% of it, now that to me is amazing. I’d much rather that than have a baby in my 40s and not get to spend half as much time with them.
Most importantly, my baby gives me a reason to get out of bed and shower everyday, she gives me a reason to leave the house everyday, she gives me a reason to live everyday. She gives me more motivation than anyone or anything ever has done before. She gives me the courage to do things I never ever thought I was capable of. She is my entire world, she’s my confidence, she’s my positivity, she’s the light in my life. I couldn’t possibly live without her.
So life doesn’t always go the way you plan it, but I truly believe everything happens for a reason, and sometimes you find happiness in the most unexpected places. My life is so different to what I imagine it to be, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.
